The House Always Wins

My husband and I were blessed to have a wonderful  weekend away last week.  No children, just the two of us.  This was a welcomed break for both of us.  We hadn't been away alone together since long before I was pregnant with Sophia and it being the middle of February going to the beach seemed sort of a dissapointing option (this is typically where we vacation because we live in south Texas and it's near enough by to not spend too much of our valuable time on traveling) so we opted for Lake Charles, Louisiana as the drive wasn't too terribly long and we only had a Friday night, saturday and a few hours sunday morning to be away.  We decided on the Golden Nugget resort and Casino.  This was VERY exciting for me, I had never gambled or done anything that resembled it, I was eager to try my luck and was daydreaming of hitting big and coming home a winner.  I knew this scenario was unlikely, I was well aware of the saying "the house always wins", but I believed there was no harm in holding out hope, of dreaming, it all made the excitement of the trip that much greater, after all, the Longshot it certainly was, people do actually  win sometimes!

The resort was amazing. Clean, beautiful, bustling with excitement and boutiques and wonderful places to eat.  Our room was perfection.  I was sitting on the balcony of our 18th story suite staring down at the pool and fire pits and lazy river thinking to myself how lucky I was to be there.  Russell had left straight from work so when we arrived at our room he needed to shower and get dressed. I was so excited  to get downstairs I could hardly contain myself!

The casino was busy as I looked around the room taking inventory of all of the faces, i saw young and old alike and all of us were there with the same resolve, beat the house, go home winners.  We played the machines for a long time, we went up, we went down but this was not satisfying my urge to gamble, it was a dollar here two dollars there. I was itching to get to the tables for some real gambling and after much nagging Russell finally agreed.  I was really intimidated when we walked up to the roulette table, there were people crowded so densely around it i could hardly see it.  When we finally edged our way in i saw that the minimum bet was $25.00 this was a far cry from the .25 we had played on the machines and I began to understand my husbands hesitancy to play table games, a loss here would really put a hurting on our gambling funds.  But I had to do it once, had to try.  So i flicked my $25.00 chip on the table and held my breath.  A hit! A win!! My $25.00 became $50.00 instantly, what a rush!!! I snatched up my chips, beamed victoriously at my cautious husband and walked away.  I did it, i beat the house, I was up and it felt splendid.  We went off to bed shortly thereafter, and as I drifted off to sleep, all I could think about was doubling that money the next chance I got. I didn't know it then but the house was already winning, they already had me beat.

I did visit the tables the next day, I won $275.00 there but ended up losing $100.00 of it before my good sense kicked in and I walked away for good.

On the long drive home I got to thinking about how "the house always wins", started relating that phrase to my everyday life.  I really want to take the kids to the playground, but the house needs to be cleaned. The house wins.  I really want to write a blog, but the children need attention and dinner needs to be made. The house wins.  I would love a snappy new outfit, but the children's shoes are looking pretty worn.  The house wins again. The house always wins.  This is a fact and as a mother and a wife more often than not the odds are always stacked against me and I wake up every morning knowing I'm already defeated.

Then I began thinking, what if instead of focusing all of my energy on losing my "I want to" chips and consequently not placing a bet, what if I could hold on some hope of beating the house? What if I could feel as excited about starting my day as I did when I walked into that casino.  There is really little difference right?  I was excited about a Longshot win in a place structured to offer me the opposite, yet I held onto hope of winning instead of fear of losing.  And the beautiful thing about "I want to" chips is that they are in endless supply, in fact they multiply all by themselves!  So if I throw them all in everyday and everyday the children, the husband, the grocery store, the sick cat, the backed up laundry ...the "house" takes it all, well I've really not lost at all, I get another day to gamble on all of it.  God is so good.

So my resolve is to go "all in" everyday and wake up filled with hope and excitement about beating the house and turning some of my "I want to" chips into "goal accomplished" chips that I can stick away in the bank of "I am woman" and walk away a big, fat, happy winner. And if I lose, well there's more dishes in the sink, or one less entry in my blog but like I said before

"it all makes the excitement of the trip that much greater, after all, the Longshot it certainly was, people do actually  win sometimes!"