I think I know my worth. My value, while not monetary, is crucial in the operations of my home. A homemakers job is so taxing, so constant and so taken for granted, that at times I even take myself for granted. I find myself sometimes wishing I brought a paycheck home, then maybe my exhaustion would be understood by my family. Maybe, if I were paid for every meal, every counseling session, every ride every shopping trip and I was able to hand my husband a check and tell him to go deposit it, he would take on the morning ritual once in a while.
Maybe if I brought home the paycheck he would load up all the kids for a grocery run and get to experience all of the chaos first hand and I could be the one scrutinizing the freezer and pantry, i could be the one saying "it sure doesn't look like the got very many groceries for the money you spent". Maybe if I paid the car payments and he hauled all the kids around all day I could climb into the car for a family outing and complain about the the car not being clean.
Maybe if I was at work all day, and my husband was home with the kids, I could walk into the insanity and say "you let them do whatever they want, you have to get them under control."
If I brought home the paycheck and he was the one doing laundry, i could stomp around in the morning and complain about picking my socks out of a laundry basket instead of my drawer, or my clean pants laid over a chair instead of hanging in the closet.
If I brought home the bank, I would have the freedom of eating lunch out everyday and taking a shower whenever I want, and I could ask him "did you shower today?", or say something snarkey like "love those sweats".
If I provided the money for our family I could say "what did you do all day", I could stay in bed when I didn't feel well, someone else would have to tend to the midnight diaper changes, the Crack of dawn bloody noses the playdate facilitating and the classroom party's. If the children all had the flu and I had to go to work someone else would get to wash the vomit bucket between vomit sessions and wake up every two hours to check Temps and dispense medications. Someone else could be the ball of worry.
If I brought home the paycheck...wait, who am I kidding, even if I bought home the paycheck I would still do everything I mentioned, because I am a mom, and just like every other hard working mom out there, especially the ones contributing financially to their households, I would make sure that all of my families needs were met, regardless if I was the one bringing home the bucks, because that's what we do. I guess what needs to happen, is that dad's need to make a little extra effort to give us mom's a little special attention. What we do isn't easy, and even when our efforts aren't rewarded with a paycheck, they should certainly be rewarded with respect and admiration. Just because mommy efforts aren't bankable it doesn't mean they aren't valuable. when I get caught in the rutt of feeling unimportant and invaluable I'm going to remind myself of that, because even if no one else realizes my worth, I do. And if we could switch places for even a day, whomever were to question that, would query no longer.
